Delusions of Lyrical Grandeur

Three days into my blog and I’ve so far been called pretentious (by Marilisa), homosexual (by Anthony) and I’ve had a visitor! From Illinois! Big up, Illinois, if you’re listening. This has had my brain ticking over a number of things, not least the fact that I’ve got an audience (and a global one, at that).

Blogs are pretentious – I can’t deny that. Why would anyone in their right mind want to listen to what I have to say? I’m not the Pope; I’m not an actor with dubious political opinions. And yet someone has visited my page. Having said that, it was most likely a kindly old lady searching for a recipe for Cookie Crumble, who I have now corrupted and debased with my outrageous irreverence and outspoken opinions on the galactic relocation of Bracknell.

That’s another thing I hadn’t considered – anyone outside the UK’s borders it unlikely to have heard of Bracknell or know of its elevated status as our principal concrete hellhole. If you’re interested, I recommend you visit trousers.co.uk - it sums the place up perfectly.

I had originally started this blog to exercise my brain but I’m going to have to buck my ideas up, just in case my visitor comes back. I can now count amongst my peers the bastions of ostentatious prose - Anne Robinson, Richard Littlejohn and the other countless newspaper columnists whose pointless opinions matter enough for at least one person to find them worth reading.