Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Let It All Hang Out


During my teens I used to be insecure about my body. This was largely due to my lack of shoulders - my neck just kind of descended directly into my hips. With no discernable shoulder joints to keep them in place, my arms flapped about in the wind like big jelly windmills. Add to this my anorexic appearance and a hair cut that was something of a bouffant/mop hybrid and you had one peculiar looking chap.

I'm happy to say things are different today - I have evolved shoulders and several years of alcohol abuse have given me a healthy layer of podge. The under-lying factor is that I'm no longer bothered about my appearance. That doesn't mean that I don't care (I'm still going to the gym in a vain attempt to develop a washboard stomach), but I'm no longer concerned about other people's opinions.

Teenagers go through so much anxiety over their looks and much of this carries over into their twenties, thanks to women's fashion mags pushing diet programmes and displaying images of malnourished models attempting to traverse catwalks without their legs snapping. Worst of the lot is heat magazine, criticising celebrities if they're too fat, then criticising them if they're too thin. This must play havoc with teenage girls' minds. "So if I look like her, I'm a whale, but if I look like her I'm a broomstick? Fuck this, I'm off to buy some sleeping pills!"

I'd like to tell everyone that their appearance doesn't really matter. If they're a little overweight, it's not really the end of the world. Everyone should just chill out a little, enjoy their food and stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks. Apart from the woman in that picture - she's as big as a fucking house.


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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm just trying to figure out what exactly is 'on disply' under her skirt? Has she inadvertently sat on someone, and that is the last sign of their former presence waving franticly for attention?

11:37 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

If that's her belly, I'm wondering when was the last time she looked (or washed) underneath it...

1:04 PM  

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