Ego

A list of mildly interesting things about me that you were never going to ask about, but I’ve decided to tell you anyway

1. I’m a qualified journalist.
2. But I failed my shorthand exam miserably.
3. I have double-jointed thumbs.
4. I can play New World Symphony on the piano while facing in the wrong direction.
5. A naked woman was once found lying in my bed at boarding school.
6. Unfortunately I wasn’t in it at the time.
7. I lived in Bracknell for the larger part of my life, but never once regarded it as my home.
8. I reserve that accolade for the beach in Bournemouth.
9. I have been 6’2 since the age of 14 and haven’t grown an inch since.
10. Every person I’ve met more than once since the age of 14 tells me that I’ve grown.
11. I once spent a night in a police cell.
12. I still have no idea why.
13. Will Self has been for a ride in my car.
14. When I was 7 I swallowed a Cadbury’s Creme Egg whole.
15. I was Head Boy at school.
16. Amidst a scandal that the vote had been rigged.
17. I’ve climbed an 18,000ft Himalayan mountain.
18. Alan Titchmarsh once called me handsome.
19. Kate Adie agreed with him.
20. I’m terrified of medium-sized spiders.
21. Really small ones and tarantulas don’t bother me. I think they’re cute.
22. I won a three-legged race dressed as the Terminator. My partner was Rambo.
23. I hate nothing more than being called a liar.
24. Unless I’m lying, in which case it’s absolutely fine.
25. I was once threatened with libel action by my headteacher.
26. I have a Blue Peter badge.
27. Which I didn’t buy on eBay.
28. I am a huge Arsenal fan, but rarely get to see them play live.
29. I live two minutes from the Reading FC stadium but haven’t bothered going to see them once.
30. I once won a national maths competition by guessing half of the answers.
31. I played a Parliamentarian in the Tim Roth film To Kill a King.
32. I have an extremely low boredom threshold.
33. This list is really getting on my tits.