Apocalypse Lunch

For lunch today, I went for the Roast Beef Bap. Here is a breakdown of events:

Bite 1: Things are going well. Very yummy.

Bite 2: Succulent and cooked to perfection. I'm beginning to enjoy myself.

Bite 3: A grenade goes off in my mouth. Beef snorts out of my nose. I start to cry. I cough up the rest of the bap but my head still feels like it's dissolving. My life starts flashing before my eyes. I'm just up to my 20th birthday when the pain begins to subside and the surrounding office comes back into focus. I dizzily look down at the remains of my meal; nothing looks out of place, other than the sauce that is now oozing out and attempting to burn it's way through my desk.

I get my breath back.

Bite 4: My head explodes. The office catches fire. World War III starts. A million voices scream out "Why didn't you stop at bite 3?!" I scream back at them "Because I was hungry and this fucker cost me £2.95!" The sun goes supernova. The universe implodes. Everyone dies. The end.

And all because I asked for horseradish on my bloody bap. I'll go for ketchup next time.