Bon Anniversaire, Mon Petit Blog

Great Googly Moogly! I've been so busy not writing this blog, that I completely forgot that I've been writing it for a year!

So, happy 1st birthday, HTCC, and I'm sorry that I missed it by over a month (now you know how my family feel).

Be Afraid Of The Ad Man

There’s currently an advert on TV for some hideous Febreze/Ariel hybrid, in which an adolescent boy sticks his head down the back of a sofa, then proceeds to walk into a wall with a pair of underpants on his head. He is suffering from what I like to call the ‘fucking penis effect’, or as it’s more commonly known: ‘They’re Gonna Taste Great Syndrome’.

In 2006, the star of a Frosties commercial was reportedly murdered to death for pissing off just about everyone on the planet. His crime? Listening to some fucked-up ad man who promised him fame and fortune by uttering the immortal phrase “They’re gonna taste great” over and over, in an incredibly annoying monotonal voice. Oh, and the dance – don’t forget the dance. What it actually did was ruin his life. And quite right too, the loser.

The problem is this: kids at that age are desperate to get on TV, and when they get in that audition room they will do just about anything they’re asked to (not that, you perverts). What they need is someone telling them that acting like a cockmaster on peaktime national TV is not going to get you much pussy. In fact, you can write off beaver for pretty much the rest of your life. You think that Jade, Jo and that scouse bint had trouble after Big Brother? Well just imagine the grief that the Febreze-loving panty-sniffer got when he went back to school. Murder, I tell you, murder.