I'm A Liar

Well, I did say maybe, so technically I’m not a liar. Anyway.

There’s only one thing that makes me cry more than Big Brother and that’s Celebrity Big Brother. Who the hell are these people? Where did they come from? I thought that being a ‘celebrity’ meant you had to be famous - and doing something famous 30 years ago on the Indian sub-continent doesn’t count. I realise that the over-exposure of nearly-nobodys is hardly anything new – we had Who The Fuck Are You Love Island and Strictly Come Who The Fuck and I’m A Fucktard, Get Me On The Telly. I can understand why the old ex-celebs do it – making a knobend of yourself for three weeks will get you in the public eye again and may even make you popular (or maybe not, George Galloway! Ha Ha! Fool!). But this famous-by-association bollocks is just too much – I couldn’t give a fraction of a gnat’s shit about someone who once wanked off David Beckam’s dog or bummed some footballer’s monogloid uncle. They are attention seeking scum. But even they are not as bad as the amoebic plebeians who make the journey to the house on the first night to boo people they’ve never heard of who haven’t even done anything yet. Do you really have nothing better to do with your pathetic little lives??