Here's One I Made Earlier

Scientists. Is there anything they can’t do? Today they have announced the successful transplant of bladders grown from the patients’ own cells in a laboratory. The seven people who required surgery had a sample of cells taken and placed on a special scaffold (i.e. a party balloon), then grown into a new bladder, whereas the standard procedure involves taking a tissue graft from the small intestine.

Five years down the line and the patients in question have all been able to take jobs without ready access to a toilet. Now that this has been proven to work, they’re going to start work on hearts and other organs and because it doesn’t involve the use of stem cells, it should keep the deeply confused “pro-life” campaigners at bay. By the time my organs give out (which will be sooner rather than later), I should be able to grow new ones and have them replaced at will. I think I'm going to take up smoking.

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