When I Die, I Want To Be Remembered As...
Excerpt from this morning’s breakfast:
“You did have a one night stand – with that bloke from work.”
“It wasn’t really a one night stand. It happened twice.”
“And was he any good?”
“Erm… he was very… passive.”
Passive? What a bloody awful word to have describe your sexual performance. I can think of plenty of things I wouldn’t want to be called over a bagel and mocha the following morning: useless; crap; Mr Floppy; but passive – there’s just something so… analytical about it.
It’s not even like being called lazy; I mean, everyone’s been lazy in bed at one time or another and lazy Sunday sex – well, I’m one of its advocates. Passive says to me he didn’t really know what to do, so he just kind of lay there and hoped to high heaven that all the machinery worked. Yuk.
If anyone can think of a more demeaning word to sum up the useless sexual endeavours of a previous partner, I’m all ears.
posted by Matt at 6:43 PM
5 Comments:
Have you tried the Blue Pill?
No, I took the red pill. And I'm still in Wonderland.
I'm now convinced we've met NF...
"Instantly forgettable" is never good either.
So I've heard.
From friends.
Who aren't me.
Oh, get a room.
"relunctant" and "dry" are two words that spring to mind...
Post a Comment
<< Home